My faucet had been dripping for some time, and the drip had turned into a full-on stream. The faucet was old and cheap, so it seemed like time to replace it.
As I lay under the sink, sawing through a completely rusted together bolt and nut with water dripping and rust flakes falling on my face, I thought about SnK. (Shingeki no Kyojin to the purists, Attack on Titan to those who think using Japanese titles when you don't speak Japanese is pretentious - SnK to me because I pronounce it as snick in my head and it makes me chuckle and also it takes less time to say.) It occurred to me that there are a lot of similarities between the two.
Everything Will Go Horribly Wrong
You have a plan. It seems like a good plan. You've thought it through. It's within your skill set and level of ability.
Everyone is going to die.
I've replaced faucets before. In theory, it's not really a big deal. You unscrew a few things. You screw on a few new things. You're done. But this doesn't take into account things like rust, corrosion, and most of all, insane people who did the previous plumbing. Seriously, people do crazy things to plumbing.
SnK is very similar. There's a plan. Smart people have come up with the plan. The plan takes into account the resources available. Everyone is on board with the plan. It should work. It doesn't. They couldn't possibly take into account all the variables - there are a lot of things people didn't know and besides that, things just go wrong.
When Things Go Well, They Are Just Lulling You Into A False Sense of Security
Once in a while (in both plumbing and SnK) things do work out. Everything falls into place. Suddenly, it's all working!
Don't be deceived. This is nothing more than a sign that things are about to go horribly, horribly wrong.
Mankind has had their first victory against the Titans! The tide is about to turn! Everything is looking up!
Time for everyone to die.
That nut came right off! It wasn't rusted at all! This job is going to take twenty minutes!
Time for everyone to die.
(Okay, to be honest, the chances of dying while swapping out a faucet are slim. I'm not saying it couldn't happen. It's just a little unlikely.)
It's All A Lie
I can't go into the lies being told in SnK without major spoilers, but in plumbing, when the box proudly proclaims, "All Parts Included", don't believe it. It's a lie.
You'll be halfway through installation when you get to the point in the instructions where it says, "Using 1/2" IPS faucet connections (not included) ..."
It's 10 pm. The previous installers used a phenomenally janky combination of metal, plastic and flexible tubing MacGyvered together with rusted connectors and it's no longer water tight even if you wanted to reuse it. Where are you supposed to get 1/2" IPS faucet connections at this time of night?
And, well, I suppose it's not too much of a spoiler unless you're really new to SnK, (SPOILER BELOW IF YOU'RE NEW) but there's a reason Annie and the female Titan look so much alike ... and that's just the start of the deception.
The Power of Determination Avails Nothing
In many and many an anime and manga, nothing trumps the power of determination. It doesn't matter if the goal is completely and totally impossible, if the hero just tries hard enough, he can do it!
Well, plumbing and SnK are different.
If a nut is completely stuck and you can't really get to it, there's no room and no leverage, and you either don't have the hand strength or the piece is going to break if you apply any more pressure, trying hard isn't going to do a thing. You can believe in yourself all you want - it's not going to budge that nut.
This is actually one of the things I both admire and dislike about SnK. It is (odd to say, given the premise) far more realistic than most stories. When you're seriously out-manned and overpowered in real life, everybody is probably going to die. Trying hard, trusting your friends and believing in yourself isn't going to make up for a lack of military strength.
I appreciate this as effective and powerful writing. I don't enjoy it as entertainment. Call it juvenile, but I kinda like it when the main character and friends accomplish the impossible using the powers of Determination and Friendship! And I would love it if the power of determination could conquer plumbing.
There's No Turning Back
This isn't working. Maybe it's time to just call it a day. Maybe it's okay to quit.
Whoops, not an option. See, if you do nothing, it's actually going to get worse. You didn't think that was possible, did you?
See, that corroded piece just fell apart in your hand and now water is dripping everywhere because the shut-off valve doesn't actually shut the water off completely. Your options are to move forward or flood the house.
You could just stop fighting and let the Titans eat you, but ... nobody wants to do that. If you fight, there's a slim chance somebody will survive.
It Could Be Worse
Actually, it probably couldn't. Not in SnK, that is. But in plumbing - it might be a pain in the neck. It might end up taking way longer and being more expensive than you ever dreamed possible. But at the end of the day, nobody's trying to eat you. And that's a good thing.
As I lay under the sink, sawing through a completely rusted together bolt and nut with water dripping and rust flakes falling on my face, I thought about SnK. (Shingeki no Kyojin to the purists, Attack on Titan to those who think using Japanese titles when you don't speak Japanese is pretentious - SnK to me because I pronounce it as snick in my head and it makes me chuckle and also it takes less time to say.) It occurred to me that there are a lot of similarities between the two.
Everything Will Go Horribly Wrong
You have a plan. It seems like a good plan. You've thought it through. It's within your skill set and level of ability.
Everyone is going to die.
I've replaced faucets before. In theory, it's not really a big deal. You unscrew a few things. You screw on a few new things. You're done. But this doesn't take into account things like rust, corrosion, and most of all, insane people who did the previous plumbing. Seriously, people do crazy things to plumbing.
SnK is very similar. There's a plan. Smart people have come up with the plan. The plan takes into account the resources available. Everyone is on board with the plan. It should work. It doesn't. They couldn't possibly take into account all the variables - there are a lot of things people didn't know and besides that, things just go wrong.
When Things Go Well, They Are Just Lulling You Into A False Sense of Security
Once in a while (in both plumbing and SnK) things do work out. Everything falls into place. Suddenly, it's all working!
Don't be deceived. This is nothing more than a sign that things are about to go horribly, horribly wrong.
Mankind has had their first victory against the Titans! The tide is about to turn! Everything is looking up!
Time for everyone to die.
That nut came right off! It wasn't rusted at all! This job is going to take twenty minutes!
Time for everyone to die.
(Okay, to be honest, the chances of dying while swapping out a faucet are slim. I'm not saying it couldn't happen. It's just a little unlikely.)
It's All A Lie
I can't go into the lies being told in SnK without major spoilers, but in plumbing, when the box proudly proclaims, "All Parts Included", don't believe it. It's a lie.
You'll be halfway through installation when you get to the point in the instructions where it says, "Using 1/2" IPS faucet connections (not included) ..."
It's 10 pm. The previous installers used a phenomenally janky combination of metal, plastic and flexible tubing MacGyvered together with rusted connectors and it's no longer water tight even if you wanted to reuse it. Where are you supposed to get 1/2" IPS faucet connections at this time of night?
And, well, I suppose it's not too much of a spoiler unless you're really new to SnK, (SPOILER BELOW IF YOU'RE NEW) but there's a reason Annie and the female Titan look so much alike ... and that's just the start of the deception.
The Power of Determination Avails Nothing
In many and many an anime and manga, nothing trumps the power of determination. It doesn't matter if the goal is completely and totally impossible, if the hero just tries hard enough, he can do it!
Well, plumbing and SnK are different.
If a nut is completely stuck and you can't really get to it, there's no room and no leverage, and you either don't have the hand strength or the piece is going to break if you apply any more pressure, trying hard isn't going to do a thing. You can believe in yourself all you want - it's not going to budge that nut.
This is actually one of the things I both admire and dislike about SnK. It is (odd to say, given the premise) far more realistic than most stories. When you're seriously out-manned and overpowered in real life, everybody is probably going to die. Trying hard, trusting your friends and believing in yourself isn't going to make up for a lack of military strength.
I appreciate this as effective and powerful writing. I don't enjoy it as entertainment. Call it juvenile, but I kinda like it when the main character and friends accomplish the impossible using the powers of Determination and Friendship! And I would love it if the power of determination could conquer plumbing.
There's No Turning Back
This isn't working. Maybe it's time to just call it a day. Maybe it's okay to quit.
Whoops, not an option. See, if you do nothing, it's actually going to get worse. You didn't think that was possible, did you?
See, that corroded piece just fell apart in your hand and now water is dripping everywhere because the shut-off valve doesn't actually shut the water off completely. Your options are to move forward or flood the house.
You could just stop fighting and let the Titans eat you, but ... nobody wants to do that. If you fight, there's a slim chance somebody will survive.
It Could Be Worse
Actually, it probably couldn't. Not in SnK, that is. But in plumbing - it might be a pain in the neck. It might end up taking way longer and being more expensive than you ever dreamed possible. But at the end of the day, nobody's trying to eat you. And that's a good thing.
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