Why the World Needs a Running Man Movie

Look at the state of the world today. The economy. The environment. Politics. 
I think we all know what could make this better.
A Running Man movie.

OOOOOOOOH!!!  *Squeeing and clapping of hands*  Cough, I mean…
I couldn’t have said it better myself, E. 

Well, okay, Running Man might be able to make some small improvements in all these areas.  Obviously.  The world would hopefully be too busy falling off the couch laughing to talk about politics.  ‘Cause, really?  Politics.  Running Man.  Polit—nope.  

But saving the world is probably just too much to expect.  The time spent arguing with the PD, arguing with Jong Kook, arguing amongst themselves and waking up Blank Ji alone might put the whole plan back a bit.  

 But anyone can save the world in a movie! All you have to do is write it that way.
I'm not talking about a spy/mystery themed Running Man episode. I'm taking about a legitimate movie, with a plot and everything.

MacGuffin of Doom!

Picture this:
The MacGuffin of Doom has been stolen by the forces of evil. There’s always a McGuffin of Doom. Governments are powerless. Military might avails nothing. Super spies are baffled. What the world needs now ... is RUNNING MAN!!!

 



I’m picturing a scene where the serious military types, and the flustered bureaucratic types, and some poor actually smart guy that despite his credentials and common sense, no one is listening to – are standing around a table filled with “important documents” and flashing screens of a whole bunch of random also “important information” and everyone’s arguing while smart guy keeps saying, “I know what we can do, I know-“  and finally the quiet grizzled type (and per E’s later suggestion let’s say it’s in a wild twist – Choi Min Soo

Choi Min Soo.  See, perfect grumpy mentor material

– as the former grumpy mentor and not enemy of the Running Men) stand up, instantly commanding the attention of the whole room and says in grave tones:  “I may have just the team you need.  The question is, will they work for you?” 

Picture the montages. Who doesn't love a good montage? Crazy people.  Only crazy people hate a good montage.   

Maybe the Running Men have split up and there can be an Assemble the Team montage. 
Every good “save the –insert thing here" movie includes an Assemble the Team montage.

Remember the Mission Impossible Episode?  So perhaps the Running Men have fallen on slightly hard times because the show ratings dropped?  They ran out of Velcro nametags?  The VJ team finally fell over from exhaustion? 

I’m seeing they pick up Kookie at the local gym, where he’s unsuccessfully trying to whip a bunch of adorable 6-year-olds into shape.  Ha Ha and Suk Jin have opened a black bean noodle shop and are doing quite well for themselves.  Ji Hyo is…sleeping?  Maybe Gary is nowhere to be found…is he up to something?  
 Poor MC Yoo is reduced to local talent competitions. 

Probably in this shirt.

And Kwang Soo… Kwang Soo has truly become “The Prince of Asia.”  It’s going to be difficult to talk the international movie star into leaving his adoring fans.    

Obviously, the effects of too much power. 

There should be at least two makeover/disguise montages. 

I think we all remember the time Kwang Soo disguised himself with a bright pink skirt ... 

Definitely a slow motion team entrance with everyone's hair blowing in the dramatic wind. Can we possibly cut to the fans blowing their hair?  Or is that far too meta? 

Also, can we do the bit where you have a montage of each Running Man as they are introduced- you know, within the Assemble the Team montage –and the Team Leader type is doing a voice-over explaining the Running Men to the table of doubters and then Freeze Frame!  And each Running Man’s specs come up ala sports team/action movie? 

They would, of course, have to hunt down the MacGuffin of Doom – bonus points if we never really figure out What the MacGuffin of Doom IS or What it DOES  - probably by following clues of some sort. There would no doubt be peculiar tasks to be accomplished in order to move forward with their mission.

 Here’s a great way to throw in a nod to all the die-hard fans with a bevy of “the best of the best challenges” as their tasks, but of course, now with plot and other supporting characters. 

Perhaps they must eat a sequence of bizarre things in quick time in order to prove they are not impostors to the evil bad guys/druglords/yakuza (whatever the Korean version of Yakuza is)/international thieves.   

All those challenges where they have to either clamber up onto something or push each other off something in a pool.  What if it’s a raging river?  What if it IS a pool, but a pool filled with sharks or better in keeping with Running Man – Portuguese Man-O-War?  

I also think they should definitely have to complete a good portion of their adventure in those ubiquitous 7 passenger vans that they use all the time on the show.  Maybe in the manner of the kids on You Are All Surrounded.”  Because that was an AWESOME chase scene.  


I'm thinking all the guest idols who have been on the show should play all the other characters - every bit part, every extra. Preferably, they should play ridiculous out-of-character characters, sometimes with bad wigs or ridiculous disguises.
We can't let PD Dong Wan do it all the time.

Any suggestions on casting for the eeeevil villain? The leader guy/gal who gives them the mission? Various thugs, minions, spies, military brass, etc.?

This could be a long list. 
I think it’d be funny to maybe have at least one of the eeeevil villains be one of the tiny adorable girls who came on the show and fought fiercely.  They could be all cute – and eeeeevil.  Maybe IU or Sulli, or Min Hyo Rin. 

It’d be kinda funny if maybe all the athletes who’ve appeared on the show played like the top-secret mission trainers who are supposed to whip the Running Men back into shape.  I’d like to see delicate skating Olympian, Kim Yuna yelling at the boys, and our baby-faced baseball players being flustered by Ji Hyo, and poor football/soccer legend Park Ji Sung shaking his head in despair. 

Imagine Training week montage with these guys. 

See this face?  That's the face of an astonished man. 

Ace Jung Yong Hwa is usually hilarious and bubbly.  It’d be fun to see him and several of his idol buddies, I’m thinking maybe SHINee’s Min Ho, and the boys of 2PM (bet you never saw that coming) and maybe even Lee Joon of MBlaq (you know, the one who screamed like a girl when outed on the mission impossible episode) teaming up as the “official” team that’s going to save the day.   

They take themselves very seriously.  Except that they’re hilariously incompetent and their disguises are more like that parody 2pm did of Cinderella’s Sister.  (Trust me, you don’t need to know anything about the show to laugh at this.) 

Jong Kook should probably get taken down (temporarily) by the beautiful female enemy spy. 
This could be so many guests. But it probably should be that one idol actress that they tease him about on all those episodes.  I’ll have to look that up. 

I'm thinking Kwang Soo should be at least a quadruple agent. Maybe more. 

At Least.  But in the end, he makes the great sacrifice and saves the team? 
Or maybe even he can't remember which side he was actually supposed to be working for?

And Ji Hyo definitely needs to blast everybody's socks off by coming down a curving staircase in a knockout dress at a high class party in order to get information from some ritzy villain. 
 
 
Absolutely.  And whatever she’s wearing has got to blow any of the other guests/supporting characters out of the water.   Cut to the guys’ reaction of “That’s our Blank Ji?”  And she’s all like, What?



And if Jae Suk could take out some villains armed with nothing but a squirt gun ... that would be great.

Ha Ha could make a crazy, eleventh hour sacrificial play, running into a disarm the bomb or something. Then, just when everyone was resigned to his heroic death, he would turn out to be not quite so dead after all.

 








Gary ... hmm ... well, perhaps the Monday Couple could have a romantic moment while some Bond-esque villain is attempting to kill them in some tortuous way - perhaps in the giant trash compactor?

Suk Jin could be the one with all the connections - no matter what they need, he'd know a guy.

And now, the real question - how do you bring name tag elimination into a movie plot as the final battle? Is there any way to actually have tearing off name tags actually come into it?  

Idea A: The name tags are actually hiding something – as they often are in the games- a secret identity, etc.  So maybe everyone’s got a team jacket or something where they have to keep ripping off the right one to find the MacGuffin? 

Idea 2:  Instead of ripping off name tags, they have to wrestle the actual MacGuffin off of the bad guy- who has attached it to his/her person in the manner of a name tag, except they don’t know which one has it- so they have to keep chasing down the bad guys (preferably in some random museum like- bizarre place, probably crawling with people) and ripping off name tags. 
How could we work in the jingle bells of doom? 

Well, I think we've done about enough work on this movie. It's time for the producers to step it up and get this thing into production. Running Man, we're waaaaaiting ...