And now, the sequel to Stupid People Monday: Stupid People Tuesday.
I didn't run into a high quantity of stupid today, but it was definitely a very high quality of stupid. And why is it that so much of the world's stupidity is concentrated on the roads?
Let's start with the fact that as I was biking to work, I discovered that the road was closed. Annoying, but I'd left enough time to allow for a detour (a looong detour, as I had to circle around a closed college campus and a small zoo in order get to the next through street). I headed down the detour, which went in the opposite direction to that which I needed, only to discover that the next through street was also closed.
Now, due to the multiple train tracks and a river that likes to loop around on itself, there are only a few through streets. So I had to go even further out of my way to the next next through street and then double back in order to return to virtually the same place I started from.
I would like to see the planning meeting where this road construction schedule was concocted. I picture it going something like this:
"And then we shall close parallel through streets! Muahahahaha!"
"Your plans are so evil, my lord traffic commissioner!"
"Once my demented plan is in place, these peasants shall be forced to go miles out of their way to find the next through street! It's brilliant, brilliant, brilliant! Genius, I say!"
Or possibly something like this:
"Well ... huh ... we seem to have closed two parallel through streets. Maybe we should ... have planning meetings or something. Oh well."
Now this was all quite exciting enough for one Tuesday, but there was more to come.
Did you know that bicycle lanes are for bicycles? I was aware of this fact, but apparently not all motorists are. Perhaps they should paint an image of a bicycle periodically on the bike lane, and then put up signs saying "bike lane" ... oh wait, they already do that.
I bike on the far right side of the bike lane, to allow faster cyclists to pass me. This was a very fortunate thing, because today a car decided it was a bicycle. I'm not talking about someone swerving to avoid traffic, or nodding off at the wheel. I'm talking about someone driving along in the bike lane.
And you'd think that, if you decided to drive your car in the bike lane, you would at least get over when you saw a cyclist ahead of you. Nope. You would not.
I swerved into the parking lane, where luckily no one was parked, as the car drove past me - still solidly in the bike lane - the side mirror passing maybe two inches from my left handlebar. I paused for a moment, dumbfounded, as this motorist merrily continued on his/her way - in the bike lane. The one with bicycles painted on it.
Let me add that traffic was light and there was no one in the actual car lane to impede this person from driving there. Once again, I picture two scenarios:
1. Professor von Bratwurst had at last perfected his holograph projector. Testing it on his bicycle, he was able to turn his trusty Schwinn into the very image of a real, solid four-door sedan. "Eureka!" the professor shrieked in delight. Leaping onto his bike (the professor was concerned about reducing his carbon footprint and getting more cardiovascular exercise), he tore off to tell his friend Doctor Whatshisnameinheimer about his breakthrough. However, being absentminded, the professor forgot to turn off the holograph project before hitting the road.
2. Some idiot was driving in the bike lane.
I leave it to you to decide which is the more likely scenario.
Stupid people Tuesday, ladies and gentlemen.
I didn't run into a high quantity of stupid today, but it was definitely a very high quality of stupid. And why is it that so much of the world's stupidity is concentrated on the roads?
Let's start with the fact that as I was biking to work, I discovered that the road was closed. Annoying, but I'd left enough time to allow for a detour (a looong detour, as I had to circle around a closed college campus and a small zoo in order get to the next through street). I headed down the detour, which went in the opposite direction to that which I needed, only to discover that the next through street was also closed.
Now, due to the multiple train tracks and a river that likes to loop around on itself, there are only a few through streets. So I had to go even further out of my way to the next next through street and then double back in order to return to virtually the same place I started from.
I would like to see the planning meeting where this road construction schedule was concocted. I picture it going something like this:
"And then we shall close parallel through streets! Muahahahaha!"
"Your plans are so evil, my lord traffic commissioner!"
"Once my demented plan is in place, these peasants shall be forced to go miles out of their way to find the next through street! It's brilliant, brilliant, brilliant! Genius, I say!"
Or possibly something like this:
"Well ... huh ... we seem to have closed two parallel through streets. Maybe we should ... have planning meetings or something. Oh well."
Now this was all quite exciting enough for one Tuesday, but there was more to come.
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| http://www.seanverret.com/1-recognizingvulnerabilties/scared-of-biking-say-it-isnt-so/ |
I bike on the far right side of the bike lane, to allow faster cyclists to pass me. This was a very fortunate thing, because today a car decided it was a bicycle. I'm not talking about someone swerving to avoid traffic, or nodding off at the wheel. I'm talking about someone driving along in the bike lane.
And you'd think that, if you decided to drive your car in the bike lane, you would at least get over when you saw a cyclist ahead of you. Nope. You would not.
I swerved into the parking lane, where luckily no one was parked, as the car drove past me - still solidly in the bike lane - the side mirror passing maybe two inches from my left handlebar. I paused for a moment, dumbfounded, as this motorist merrily continued on his/her way - in the bike lane. The one with bicycles painted on it.
Let me add that traffic was light and there was no one in the actual car lane to impede this person from driving there. Once again, I picture two scenarios:
1. Professor von Bratwurst had at last perfected his holograph projector. Testing it on his bicycle, he was able to turn his trusty Schwinn into the very image of a real, solid four-door sedan. "Eureka!" the professor shrieked in delight. Leaping onto his bike (the professor was concerned about reducing his carbon footprint and getting more cardiovascular exercise), he tore off to tell his friend Doctor Whatshisnameinheimer about his breakthrough. However, being absentminded, the professor forgot to turn off the holograph project before hitting the road.
2. Some idiot was driving in the bike lane.
I leave it to you to decide which is the more likely scenario.
Stupid people Tuesday, ladies and gentlemen.
I enjoy that your hypothetical traffic commissioner seems to be Ezma.
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