Chopsticks: Part One

I've always used the wrong pencil grip. No teacher or parent could break me of my habit of holding my pencil gripped with all my fingers except my pinky (and it's only excluded because it's not long enough to reach), like a person trying to write while wearing mittens. My crochet hook and knitting needle grips are atypical, too.

(correct or conventional grip - http://www.thejapanguy.com/how-to-use-chopsticks/ )

Well, now it turns out my chopstick grip is all wrong as well. S'ra bought an assortment of chopsticks to try. I started with a pair of round, tapered wooden (or bamboo?) chopsticks.
My attempt to use the "correct" grip failed spectacularly - I couldn't keep them straight no matter what.

(attempt one: failure)

(attempt two: well, it kinda worked)

(attempt three: good grief, what am I even doing?)

(attempt four: not even close)

I settled for sticking both chopsticks into my usual pencil grip, which wasn't particularly effective but at least kept them from going in two completely different directions and allowed for some pinching action.

(relative and slight success!)

Well, this worked pretty well on cubes of tofu or pieces of chicken, but when it came to picking up slippery mushrooms it was a complete failure. And noodles ... well, let's just leave it at that.

According to Wikipedia, that fount of not-necessarily-accurate knowledge, many different countries have their own takes on chopsticks - pointed tips, blunt tips, wood, bamboo, metal, melamine - and chopstick manners vary from place to place, too. I think I'll start with actually getting food to my mouth with them, before I worry about the nuances.

Maybe I should start with those beginner chopsticks for toddlers ... or, as my grandpa always said, "Fingers were made before forks!"